Do support groups help?

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. -Albert Schweitzer

Feeling appreciated, understood and heard, are basic needs of human beings. Well formed support groups can offer this and much more.

There are different kinds of support groups, such as Alcoholic Anonymous (AA); Co-dependants (CODA) or Narcotic Anonymous (NA). Among the groups I find to be most helpful in times of grief are the bereavement support groups because they offer the opportunity to share a loss and help one another. It is about this kind of support group on which I want my message to focus. These last years I have been part of the Congregational Health Bereavement Program (Spanish) of Baptist Health South Florida. This program, which is offered twice a year, trains people to facilitate bereavement support groups in churches. It has been a very successful program because bereavement groups have been established in several churches.

In a very special way, and continuing with the theme of bereavement support groups, I want to mention in this message PUDE (people united in grief and hope), a support group that was born after a seminar on grief and loss I had the privilege to offer. After some months, this group consolidated itself and became a reality. My heart is filled with emotion to know I was able to contribute to this becoming a reality. This has been an incredible achievement, especially because it is the first bereavement support group in Nicaragua. This group was born out of love and to fulfill the need that exists to bring a message of hope. I am sure this group will grow and will touch many souls.

There are other values in belonging to a support group. In times of grief and loss the bereaved may need to continuously talk about their loss (actually, a technique we use in grief counseling or trauma resolution, is to process a loss by saying the story repeatedly). It may be that the family or friends are tired of listening to the same story and may discourage the bereaved to continue talking about it. In support groups, the person talks about the story and different aspects of their loss. Another important aspect of belonging to a support group is that the person does not feel alone or isolated. They may feel that what they are experiencing is not uncommon. Other people feel the same way also.

There are different types of groups. These can be open or close. Open groups allow members to come at any time. They do not need to start as a group at the same time (which is the case of closed groups). They can also differ in how many times a month they meet and the length of the meeting. Generally support groups meet once or twice a month. Some groups are able to meet every week for 1 ½ hours.

Some groups have themes to cover at each session. For example, The Eleven Principles of Transformation™ which is a system to handle and transform transitions or losses, can be used as a structure to be followed. Each principle could be explored as a guide to process grief and embrace hope again. These principles are included in my book Transform your Loss: A Guide for Coping with Grief. I offer training for organizations, corporations or individuals who are interested in implementing such principles.

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